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For some of us, Mother’s Day is a less than celebratory occasion.

My mother was a complicated, mangled, shiny train wreck. Could she be funny? A good cook? Kind to strangers and strays? Sure, sometimes. But when it came to what really mattered (safety, security, trustworthy selfless love) she was undeniably, harmfully absent.

So, here’s to all those who’ve had abusive, neglectful, crazed mothers seemingly hell-bent on the distruction of your heart; those mothers who failed to provide love as action, who failed to model humanity, compassion, big-picture love. For those of you who, too, were shaped by your mother’s boundless capacity for harm dressed in silk, I salute you.

You’ve, hopefully, found other women who’ve helped you learn how to parent yourself with the love, safety, and integrity you always deserved.  Be the parent you, and your own children, so desperately need.

May you provide for yourself a Mother’s Day free of pain and full of open-hearted love. Celebrate yourself, and the amazing women who’ve helped carry you here.

I love you.